I'm Not Dead! Movies, Surgeries, Cleaning and other Good Shit

First thing's first: 1. I am NOT dead (And I sure as hell don't look like the above picture). I've just gotten horribly side-tracked by monkeys riding unicycles...No, I'm kidding. Life can be a bitch sometimes and in a split second, can drag you back to reality when you really don't want to be. I had a pretty rough month after my last blog post. There was a lot of heavy personal stuff going on in my life that I'll spare you, but that's the main reason for my lack of blogging. 2. I apologize for leaving you hanging like that. I'll try not to let it happen again.

Anyway... Onto the fun stuff! You don't know how happy I am that it's May, which means the summer blockbuster season has begun! Holy crap! I love this time of year, especially since there's no shortage of kick-ass-looking movies coming up, and being that a good chunk of my summer has been completely sabotaged by knee surgery, I'll need the entertainment :).

I'm happy to report that I've already seen two of the biggest movies of the year! These two movies also happen to be the ones that I was most looking forward to and I'm happy to report that I loved the hell out of both of them!

The first movie I refer to is "Iron Man 3".

Oh. My. God! This was everything I wanted "Iron Man 2" to be and then some haha, Seriously though, it was. I absolutely *LOVE* stories that have a darker tone or element to them and this totally fits the bill. I loved every second of it. As for the "Mandarin Twist", (and I hope I don't get stoned for this) I really didn't mind it. TONS of other movies deviate from the source material and people are OK with it. Why is Iron Man suddenly getting shit for wanting to entertain an audience? I'll never understand fanboys sometimes. Besides, I read the relaunched "Ultimate Iron Man" comic the other day and almost threw it across the frickin' room after I realized what the "Villain" was.

So anyway, yeah, I enjoyed it. Thank you Shane Black and Drew Pearce for entertaining the shit out of me. :)

The second movie I refer to is "Star Trek into Darkness"

One thing you should know about me---is that I am a *HUGE* Trekker. (Trekker/Trekkie I don't give a rat's ass what it is, I'm not picky). Having been a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I would later discover the beauties that were (and are) Star Trek (1966) and Star Trek Deep Space Nine, (which is my favorite Trek series of all-time) in addition to having seen all 11 Star Trek movies at least 3 times and thinking that the last two before the Abrams reboot *really* sucked, I was looking forward to having Star Trek be fun again.

Well, I saw Star Trek '09 and was absolutely blown away! Hell, I'll even admit it made me cry. It was the perfect shot in the arm.

Star Trek into Darkness didn't make me cry, but it's still one hell of a film. Won't give anything away, but there are a few surprises an places where things have been turned on their head that you might enjoy :)

I recommend both films. They're definitely worth the price of admission!

In other news: The hospital sent me my surgery packet to me a few weeks ago... I may have done this surgery thing 7 times before, but it still scares the shit out of me. My pre-op physical is scheduled for Monday---even that part scares the crap out of me. After that, there'll be 9 days until my impending date with doom...OK, moving on because I'll have a fucking panic attack if I think about it anymore than I have to.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts...I re-organized my bookshelf last night only to discover that I no longer have enough room for everything and that bothers me hahahaha. Maybe I'll add "Bigger bookshelf" to my list of demands while I'm laid up :)

All right, I'm signing off before I lose my damn mind and start writing gibberish all over everything.

Until next time!

Good News, Everyone!

Good morning, world! It's April 12th and a bright and beautiful 35 outside! (Strong sarcasm should be noted) AND---even more exciting, I get to be the bearer of good news!

So, many of you are aware that I've had really sucky knees for about 10 years. Well, my right one has recently become extraordinarily sucky and as a result, my doctor has decided that the only way I'll be virtually pain-free is by having a knee replacement...Yeah, not exactly a pleasant thought for a 26-year-old, but oh well, it's not like I'm not used to it. This will be surgery #8 for me, so I'm a pro at this stuff.

Anyway, I had another appointment yesterday to find out weather I live or die! No, it was really to find out what would happen to my knee. Either I'd get to keep it (Partial replacement) or I'd lose it forever (Total replacement) Well, turns out I'll get to keep my knee! Huzzah!! Which is pretty sweet, because it means a shorter recovery time too. (Don't worry, I'll still milk the "I had surgery, therefore you're all forced to be my slaves!" act for all it's worth. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I'm totally fine, I swear...) Because I want to get it done as soon as humanly possible, the surgery date is May 29th, so I'll probably get to see Iron Man 3 3-4 times before I go under ;) Hey, I warned you that superheros were one of my unhealthy obsessions...

So, I guess I should start planning a list of my demands. Let's see: A makeshift bed, the PS3, movies, toast, waffles---Oh wait, that wasn't meant for your eyes, I'm just thinking out loud here :)

On a less happier note: Boo Minnesota and boo Minnesota sports. Everyone seems to have forgotten what the word "Win" means.

Why boo Minnesota? Because of this:

Yeah, snow. It's frickin' April! For the love of God, spring was supposed to be here LAST MONTH! Why is Mother Nature such a bitch sometimes? *mooooooan*.

That's all I've got for now. I'll give updates as soon as I can and once the surgery is performed and I'm home, pictures will happen. :)

Catch ya' later!

Sports gods, I Apologize!

Minnesota really sucks.

Yesterday was a pretty big day in sports. The baseball season officially kicked off for the Twins---in freezing 35 degree weather. How Vance Worley went without sleeves under his uniform blows my mind. It wasn't a great way to start the season as "The Boys" lost 4-2. I'd like to make every excuse in the world, including the fact that they squared off against Justin Verlander, but that really doesn't cut it. They had chances---a ton of 'em. Why they couldn't get them to payoff, I don't know.

On top of that, the Wild played and got absolutely crushed. Now I'm not as angry about that loss as I am about the Twins because they've had an absolutely ridiculous schedule over the past 10 days. Six games, a lot of them back to back, so I forgave them for it. Still, it made me very sad.

All this losing plus the freezing temperatures got me asking one simple question:

Why do the sports gods seem to hate us? Why, why, WHY?

Lets see: The only two teams I remotely care about during the spring months---The Wild and Twins lost in pretty bad fashion, plus it was 35-fricking-degrees----at a baseball game IN APRIL and there's till snow on the ground...Uh, note to Mother Nature: SPRING WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON MARCH 20th, get with it lady.

As for the sports gods: What have us Minnesotans done to deserve the cruel fate of losing Every. Damn. Year. In. Every. Single. Sport. Now some losing streaks I can understand *cough* Gopher basketball *cough* and the Wolves, but the rest of them? No way! I guess I'll just get on my knees and apologize profusely. So, sports gods, I apologize, I really do! Now let us win, PLEASE!

All right, more later. Perhaps a second post sometime today or updates to my tabs, but for now, I'm off to crawl in a hole and cry over the weather.

Fear, Inspiration and the Writing Process

In my introductory post, I mentioned that I was a writer and that I happened to have a knack for it. That part is very true and when I bring my 'A' game, I can be a pretty damn good one if I do say so myself. Sounds a little egotistical, but I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

I've been writing since I was about 8 years old. The stories were shitty, nonsensical drabbles about a cat named Astro and his talking baseball cards. Thinking back on it, each one of these pieces was filled with horrible grammatical errors and atrocities, but it was clearly the beginning of a passion. What 8-year-old would sit at a computer and write a story for three hours? (Yeah, I was a HORRIBLY slow typer as a kid, so sue me).

My interest in the craft was peaked in 5th grade, where we had to write a humorous short story. I think I might've been the only one in the class that was excited about it. As soon as the teacher told us to start our drafts, my pencil and I went town. That's where Astro made his comeback. I gave him a skateboard and had him doing all sorts of shenanigans as well as running into professional athletes who thought that he was insane. It was a piece that I had way too much fun with because I remember cracking myself up and getting strange looks from my classmates.

At that age, I remember writing almost every day and being able to come up with an idea, put it on paper and then finish it in 2-3 days time. As I got older and the nature of my writing changed, that became harder and harder. Some of it was due to writer's block, most of it was just me saying: "I don't want to write."

Now, you're probably wondering: 'What does any of this have to do with fear and inspiration?'

Well, I wrote that preface because I'm having a problem.

I haven't written anything in over a year.

So that got me thinking about my writing process and the routine I go through when I'm prepping to write. Now, I'm not one of those writer's that agonizes over ideas, I have plenty of those. For me, it's the actual structuring and getting the idea in a notebook that make me cry and send me into fits of rage, so I came up with a list of personal "rules" (Re: OCD comforts) for writing:

1. Always outline or web your idea, even if it's a little sloppy. You've got to have at least *some* ideas about the direction of your story.

2. Drafts *must* be done in a notebook before they're typed

3. College Ruled paper only

4. Preferred writing utensil is a MECHANICAL PENCIL (.07 lead) ONLY

5. Never throw drafts away---they're good learning tools

Oh, and a little "unwritten" personal opinion: One-finger typists are geniuses; if you can't handle that, screw off :) This usually gets my mind in the zone. If that doesn't work, wordplay is fantastic for generating ideas. Wordplay is simply where you write words on a piece of paper. They can be whatever kind of words you want and the exercise can make complete sense or it can be totally nonsensical. I can't tell you how many good stories I've written using this method.

Just as I was thinking about what helps me get in the zone, I also thought about *why* I wasn't writing and that was because of fear. Back when I wrote more frequently, I would write an amazing short story/poem/novella and then after I finished, I wouldn't write for months or even years at a time. That's because I would fall in love with my previous story and say: 'God, that was so good! I can't match the greatness of that. Yeah, I've got ideas, but that story is just so perfect, why ruin a good thing by writing another story?' or 'What if I completely blow the next story and everybody says how awful I am?' Kind of cynical, I know, but it's true. 

On the flipside of that, there's what inspires me to write. Nature, pictures, quotes, toys--yes, I just said toys, movies, my mood, people watching....the list goes on and on. Point is, if everyday life is stressing you out, grab a piece of paper every once in a while and try writing something. It doesn't have to be a novel, just let your mind go crazy. It's an awesome de-stresser.

On that note I leave you with a poem I wrote last fall. Enjoy!! I'm off to write about a blue sock monkey with a pom pom hat.
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Closure

I remember that house.

It’s dark interior, the peeling paint and fractured walls

Then there was that horrible, acrid smell of smoke and whiskey…

I can still hear his voice, eerily raspy and seething with hatred

As he held me by the collar and swore at me, his spit plastering my cheeks

Through my tears, I’d ask him what I did wrong

But he never answered with words. Only hard slaps and kicks to the ribs.

My childhood was far from joyful.

Memories that should’ve been filled with the sounds of laughter, excitement and happiness

Have been replaced with the sounds of shattering bottles, broken bones, bloody noses

And the cracking of the foundation every time he threw a tantrum.

A 6-year-old should never have to experience that.

How I managed to survive is beyond me.

He passed away just last week. I got the call on Tuesday.

And now, here I stand.

I’m not sure what compelled me to come back,

There was no “really good” reason to.

Maybe it’s because I felt bad for him

They say he died all alone

I don’t care how big of a jerk he was back then

He didn’t deserve to die that way, no one does.

Maybe I came back because I’m all he had left.

Everyone that should’ve been close to him is gone now----

His family, his friends, his wife…

Everyone except me.

Or maybe I just wanted to see the house.

I left when I was 18. I’m 24 now, so it’s been 6 years.

I wanted to see if he had ever cleaned it up or did anything different with it

It doesn’t look like he did

It’s still the same shabby hole that I grew up in.

So I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out why I came back…

Maybe it was out of guilt, or maybe I felt it was something I had to do

Or maybe I just wanted proof, some kind of closure

That the worst part of my life had officially come to an end.

(Not so) Formal Introduction

OK, so these things are "supposed" to go something like: "Hi, I'm Natalie, welcome to my blog blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." right?

Well, truth is, I've never been any good at that. I'd much rather walk up to you and say "Hi" and maybe shake your hand---so HI!

I won't go into my life story in this post, because it's long, boring and well...Uninteresting to say the least :). However, to avoid making *this* specific "Very First Post Ever" uninteresting, I will tell you a few things about me and this blog. I decided to start a blog because social media is starting to become intolerable for me and I need a place to vent. So in other words, this will be a no-holds-barred blog. Not to say that every post will turn into a bitchy rant, most of the time it'll involve my interests and life, I'm just putting it out there as a disclaimer.

Another reason for starting this blog is because I'm a writer and I'm hoping that this will not only be a place for me to share myself, but also act as a bit of a creative muse to get ideas flowing clearly. I'll post some of my work a little later on :)

As far as my interests are concerned, and I'll just get this out of the way right now; I am a HUGE nerd.I love everything superhero/Sci-Fi, I love reading, video games and music, so if anything relating to that ever comes up and you understand nothing---it's OK :) I also love sports---particularly baseball, American Football and hockey and I have a (possibly unhealthy) obsession with cats :).

So, I'll be writing about anything and everything, whatever crosses my mind. Some of it may be a little ADD-ish because it's so random, but hey, no holds barred.

That's pretty much all I've got for now. Hope you enjoy!

Until next time... :)